


Are You Flirting with Me? / Treat Yo Self 2009

by Nutriyum_Addict



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Booty Calls, Drunken Flirting, Drunkenness, F/M, Flirting, Friendship, Lingerie, Sneaking Around
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-06
Updated: 2015-11-06
Packaged: 2018-04-30 08:46:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5157485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nutriyum_Addict/pseuds/Nutriyum_Addict
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>First part is Ben making a drunken booty call in May 2011, second part is a sort of prequel in October 2009 (Leslie and Donna friendship).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Are you flirting with me?

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this awhile ago but never posted it here. I remembered about it yesterday while discussing Donna in regards to Leslie and Ben's relationship! :)

Leslie stops paging through her binder (number three of five) and turns her full attention to the warm, playful, somewhat nonsensical voice in her right ear. “Benjamin Wyatt, from the City Manager’s Office…are you drunk?”

"What? I…uh, yeah. I’m kind of drunk, Leslie Knope, from the Parks Department," he confirms and then he starts laughing. Like pretty much full-on giggling, which is completely infectious and makes Leslie laugh too. Actually, Ben sounds pretty hammered, nowhere near snakejuice-hammered, but definitely past tipsy. Wait? Do guys get tipsy? Anyway, it is adorable.

"Ben, Ben. How did this happen? Remember when you used to be an all-business hard-ass?" She teases into her phone, while using her foot to push her Spring Parks Upkeep binders one, two, four, and five towards the end of her bed. "I thought you were going to go home and finish up those budget sheets tonight?"

"I was but then I came to Pawnee and now home is this crazy house. And I had beer. Plus tequila, I think? April made something for us to drink. But, really I was mining my own business--"

"Mining your own business?" She repeats. "And then drinking with April?"

”Minding. Or, I don’t know, mining could work there too, cute smarty-pants. Anyway, serious all-business was being taken care of here at _chez-casa Wyatt-Ludgate-Dwyer and Associates_ , and then I went out to the kitchen to make myself dinner and somehow, I got involved in a very heated and confusing _Golden Girls_ drinking game with my scampish yet insane roommates. I still don’t completely understand it…but Blanche, Rose, and Dorothy got me pretty tanked. And now I really want to do that thing we said we shouldn’t do tonight. Oh and I also kind of want cheesecake.”

"Cheesecake, huh?"

"Yeah. And the other thing too. Probably that first."

There’s a short silence before Leslie asks, “Well…what if you snuck out of the house and I picked you up on the corner of Elm and Third? And we could come back here.” Sometimes having a secret boyfriend is a lot of fun—like being in a spy movie or something. She could wear her dark glasses and a big hat to go get him. Maybe a mysterious scarf too?

"That might work. But I’d have to put on pants to leave the house…"

"Why aren’t you wearing pants?"

"I spilled my drink on them and I went to my room to change and then I decided I’d rather talk to you then watch more _Golden Girls_. I’m wearing a pair of those boxer-briefs that you like. Well, those and also my shirt, tie, and socks…I’m working a whole business-casual look here,” Ben tells her.

"Yes, it sounds like you do have a look." Leslie grins, picturing Ben lying back on his bed and talking to her, adorable, past-tipsy, and pants-less.

"I do," he agrees. "And also, April and Andy are still in the living room. Based on the sounds, I think they’re, uh, fucking out on the couch right now. I’m kind of afraid to go look."

"Oh, Ben."

"Yeah. I’m trapped in my room. Because of the out-of-bounds fucking.”

One thing that Leslie has learned about Ben over the last three weeks—when he’s turned on, he uses the word _fuck_ a lot. As a verb. He’s even gotten her doing it. The word has always seemed a little vulgar to her, but Leslie’s really beginning to appreciate it lately—the way it rolls off her tongue when he’s touching between her spread thighs or when Ben is whispering things to her as he kisses along the side of her neck.

_Mmm-hmmm_. Fuck is sexy. _Fuck yes_. Of course, she’s gotten him to use the term make out now too, which over the last couple of weeks, pretty much has come to mean the same exact thing as fuck.

"And then I started thinking about you and I just really wanted to hear your voice. So here I am. In your phone." There’s a pause before he adds. "Hi, secret-Leslie."

"Hi, secret-Ben," she answers back, smiling in her empty yet cluttered bedroom. Crap on a cockatoo, she really wishes he was here right now.

"I liked the shirt you were wearing today. It looked really nice on you. The blue matched your eyes. You have such pretty eyes."

"I, oh..thank you."

"You’re so beautiful. Like a yellow flower in the sun. With light blue eyes and you wear good-looking, eye-matching shirts. And you smell like…the best dessert in the world. You also taste like the best dessert in the whole world," he adds in a lower, throatier tone. Then, "Hey, here’s an idea—we should make out tonight."

"You mean fuck?"

Ben kind of growls in response.

"Why, Mr. Wyatt. Are you flirting with me?" Leslie teases and is rewarded with more of his warm, soft laughter in her ear.

"I am, definitely. Yes. And also, all of your shirts make your breasts look amazing. Diaphena-level amazing, which, really is Leslie Knope-level amazing. God, I’m sorry, don’t think I’m objectifying you because I lo..like your brain too, but I also really, really like your boobs. That’s okay, right?"

"That’s okay," she assures him. "Oh my god. Wait. Is this…a booty call?"

He pauses. “Wow. Yeah, I think it is. Leslie Knope, I am calling to request the presence of your…booty. For sexy, forbidden things.”

Now it’s her turn to laugh again—numbers robot Ben is such a silly drunk. Well, also hot and cute. God, she’s only been talking to him for about two minutes but she really wants to jump him. How is this even possible? But…”We were trying to cool it for a couple of days though, remember? Wasn’t April getting suspicious of you not sleeping at your house?”

"Right. Good point. You are a smarty-pants. Hey. I know. You should come here—no pants required at casa-chez Wyatt-Floodgate-Dryer. Oh god, yeah, that’s a great idea. You really need to come here. On my bed. And then I’m still sleeping here, so problem solved. And don’t worry, I can still do it when I’ve been drinking. In fact, just talking to you now is…god Leslie, it’s making me hard.”

Leslie groans. Drunk Ben is kind of slutty and awesome.

"And I really want to wake up with you in my bed tomorrow. They sleep late. We’ll set my alarm for early and I can walk you to your car. It’s fine. Come over and we’ll make out now. The kind of making out where I lick you and push my fingers into you and make you come all against my face.”

"Jesus, Ben."

"And then we can cuddle. I just really want you in my bed. Please?"

"But, if they’re in the living room, how do I get to your room without being seen?" Even as she says this, Leslie is up and grabbing a small bag, throwing some toiletries in it. Wait? Do you bring cotton balls and moisturizer to a sneaky, overnight booty call? She should text Ann and ask. Oh! She should definitely wear her sexy scarf and dark glasses too. And her fancy underwear, the pair she got at the mall with Donna when she tagged along with her and Tom for part of Treat Yo Self Day 2009. Leslie starts rummaging around her top drawer for her lacy blue panties and her matching bra from Victoria’s Secret.

"Just crawl in through the window."

She stops the rummaging. “What?”

"I know, I know," Ben starts, and she can already hear the apology in his voice. "It sounds like something Sewage Joe would suggest if he called someone and wanted them to come over for…things, and I’m so sorry about that. But the screen popped off this morning and I haven’t put it back yet, so it’ll be super easy. I’ll help you in, it’s right by the window seat," Ben pauses briefly. "I mean, you are a front door, sophisticated woman and I definitely think that, but right now, the front door is not an option, so I think my bedroom window is our best work-around. Because the back door route goes past the living room too. I just want you to know that I would never, ever ask you to sneak into a window for sex stuff unless I really respected you as a person. Which I do. Also, it’s important for you to know that window is not a euphemism for anything…so it’s not like I’m a weirdo.”

"Oh. Okay then."

"Really?" Even though she can’t see his face, she’s pretty sure he’s smiling. That kind of surprised smile he does that makes her stomach flutter.

"Yes. I’ll be over in a few minutes. I’ll park a couple of blocks away on Vine."

"Yay," Ben responds and wow, he is drunk if he’s saying _yay_ , Leslie thinks.

“Hey, I don’t suppose there’s anyway you could pick up a cheesecake on your way over? I still didn’t eat dinner.”

She grins, zips up her bag. “I could do that. Yeah.” Making out and a cheesecake? God, her drunk, secret boyfriend is the best.


	2. Treat Yo Self 2009

She hates Eagleton. Really, she does. That’s why it’s so, so annoying that the Plaza at Eagleton is the only nearby mall with a _Things Remembered_ store so that Leslie can browse the new selection of annual Christmas snow globes. Stupid Eagleton.

It’s also the only nearby mall with a reflecting pool out back, a Godiva Chocolates, a leather coat store, and a silk tie kiosk. So really, Leslie is not at all surprised to run into Tom and Donna, loaded down with shopping bags, singing about cashmere sweaters, Belgian chocolates, and Coach handbags when she leaves the Radio Shack with a new tape roll for her Casio KL-120 label printer (her other mall-related errand over lunch).

" _It’s the best day of the_ —"

"Leslie!" Tom exclaims, stopping mid-song. "What are you doing here?"

"I needed something for my label maker," she tells them, gesturing towards the store she just exited. Tom looks at her and slowly shakes his head while Donna studies her, making a confused face.

"When was the last time you treated yourself to something?" Tom asks.

"Well, I had waffles this morning. Extra whipped cream and everything."

"That’s not a treat—that’s a regular Tuesday morning for you," Donna comments. "That’s it. You are coming…" Donna stops talking and looks around, her face finally settling on the Victoria’s Secret next door, “in here with me and you are going to get yourself something nice.”

Tom makes a snorting noise.

"No, that’s okay, I don’t need new underwear. I just bought a bunch of things at Target. They were having a sale - three for $15. I even got a pair with different sized polka dots on them. They’re really cute.”

"Oh lord," Donna says as Tom rolls his eyes and kind of shudders before wandering away to look at a display of fur-brimmed hats. "Knope, you are a sexy, powerful, full-grown woman and there’s no reason you should be wearing cute $5 polka dot cotton panties from Target. Get in here and treat yourself to the good stuff.”

After a few minutes, Leslie has been loaded down with a number of satin and lace bras (there’s even a leather one in her collection to try), a red bustier, and a selection of thongs and tiny, silky panties. Donna finally shoves her into a dressing room and tells her she can’t come out until she finds something to purchase that’s at least $50 and makes her look and feel sexy. Pampered. Like a goddess.

She gets through most everything not really liking much but then…”Donna. Donna!” Leslie whispers loudly.

"What?"

Leslie peeks out of the dressing room curtain and sees her friend smelling her way through a display of perfumes a few feet away.

"Come here."

As soon as she’s close enough, Leslie stands back, pulls the curtain open a bit, grabs Donna’s hand, and drags her into the dressing room quickly.

"Damn!" Donna exclaims, as she focuses her wide eyes over Leslie’s state of undress.

"Yeah?" Even though she’s trying the light blue satin and lace panties on over her own well-worn black cotton bikinis, they look good. So does the matching, push-up style lacy bra—like really, really good. Her boobs look awesome. So does her ass. She just needs a second opinion to be sure. And maybe a sexy hat?

"That’s a good look for you. You’ve actually got some smokin’ curves under those boring, old lady pant suits and ill-fitting blazers. Now you just need to find some hot thing to use and abuse in your new sexy undies."

Leslie starts giggling, continuing to check herself out in the three-way mirror. Wow, she does look pretty sexy. Plus, this shade of light, icy blue matches her eyes just perfectly. It’s uncomfortable as hell, but holy shit it looks amazing.

She can’t help herself from wondering what Mark would think if he ever saw her in it. Or maybe someone else?

Or hell, maybe she’ll just wear this fancy set under one of her old lady pants suits just for herself. Like a sneaky, sexy secret only she knows about.

"I’m serious, Leslie. You are tiny and gorgeous and blonde—guys love that sort of thing. You need to get out there and have some fun. And this is how you start. Now…what are you going to do?"

Leslie nods, still admiring herself in the mirror. “I’m going to treat myself!”

Donna holds her hand up for a high-five and Leslie slaps it determinedly.

"And then I’m going to go back to Things Remembered and I’m going to buy that completely over-priced Santa and Mrs. Claus baking cookies snow globe.”


End file.
